4 Steps To Defuse Negative Emotions

Updated: Aug 20, 2019

One thing that has made life so much easier for me is the way I think. Training your mind to feed you positivity isn’t the easiest and definitely takes time.

However, I KNOW it is the reason for my sanity! What are your daily thoughts now? Is there anything that’s not contributing to your greater good? If so, those are the thoughts we want to erase from our memory. The way to do that is with affirmations and positive self talk. Sometimes we can be our worst enemies, but  we must be our strongest during any storm.


When something crazy happens, do you let it ruin your day? Maybe there are a series of events that throws you off for a few days after? Have you ever asked yourself why that happens exactly?


Everything is a vibration. The seat you are sitting in, the device you are reading this blog post on, your voice, and you! With vibrations, like attracts like. Have you ever met a person, and you have almost EVERYTHING in common? It’s because you are vibrating on the same frequencies.


This same logic is for every event happening in your life. Let’s call it “self-karma”; energy within you returning to you in its physical form. So let’s say I’m always happy (I try to be, I fall short a little…ugh the human in me!), and feeding myself positive thoughts. As a result the universe will bless me with more of it. The same goes if you are always sad, anxious, mad, whatever it may be. The universe will bless or curse you with more reasons to be that way.  

Sometimes I can’t help getting emotional when certain events happen. I have promised myself though, to not allow myself to stay in a slumber too long because I know I’ll only attract more if I do. These events may not come back to you right away, it may be a week later, maybe a few years. Some events are inevitable and out of our control, but we DO have control over our emotions. People love to say “but this is reality”. Well that’s cool but God gave you free will over you which means you are the one thing you can control. I choose not to let things get me mad, sad or anxious. Anxiety is thee worst feeling! You remember that saying “He who angers me, controls me”? It’s so true! The next time something attempts to knock you off your high vibrating cloud, remember EVERYTHING is happening in Divine order. Quickly ask yourself and ask God, “what can I learn from this situation?”.


Another way to easily move past what’s trying to control our emotions is seeking the good in every situation. Last December, I was fired from my first job post grad. I created my whole career around this lash company. I treated the place as my own and put forth much blood, sweat and tears. I closed on my house and got fired in the same day. When I read my termination letter via email, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought I had so much invested in that business that I began to neglect what God had invested in me. I was in my empty living room with all of my friends celebrating one accomplishment.  I remember cutting the music down and telling everyone what I had just read and I started laughing. They were looking at me like I was insane. My mind immediately went into survival mode, I knew what I was suppose to do next. Had I not been fired I would have taken FOREVER to start The Lash Queens. I opened my business 9 days later.


I was working under an apprenticeship at my last job. For reasons I will never know, the owner had it out for me. She ended my apprenticeship when I had 1 more month to be complete AND it took her almost 2 months to pay me my last paycheck. I could have been sad and moped around but that was not an option. I seen that check as good as gone and moved on, I knew God would bless me 10 fold. As for the apprenticeship, I met someone in my meditation class who was more than happy to help me. I’m getting emotional writing this because God had me covered on all angles. EVERYTHING I needed and wanted happened right on time and effortlessly! I quickly saw how God had been preparing me for this moment for the past 2 years. I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity I had to work there and even more grateful I was fired. I learned all I needed to learn there and being fired put a fire under my ass like no other to follow my own destiny. It wasn’t until a month after I had opened my business and everything was running smoothly did I break down and cry. Everyone who knows me knows I strive on being strong. I’ll cry after the job is done and I did lol, like a little baby to my momma. I love her dearly because she will curse me out if I stay sad or mad too long.


Be sure to have a person to vent to who will push you to be your best self.  For this situation it was my mother, but I have all of my close friends whom I don’t mind venting to because they will shut down anything that is not for my greater good.

4 Steps To Defuse Negative Emotions


1. Seek the positive in the situation.

Paying attention to the negative will only attract more negative and it will keep you at a low vibration. Ultimately keeping you sad, mad, angry or anxious (whatever emotions you are feeling)


2. Remember that EVERYTHING is working in Divine order, ALWAYS!

Don’t play victim. This is a quick reminder that always brings peace. I always find peace knowing that everything no matter what, is working in my favor and for my greater good. It draws my attention from “right now” and helps me to focus on the bigger picture.


3. Ask, “what can I learn from this situation”?

Everything can be a learning situation if you allow it be. If you look at it that way you can prevent the situation from happening again or know how to deal with the situation if it unfolds again.


4. Surround yourself with positive people.

This is a must, you never want to call that friend that feeds into your negativity instead of countering it. Like step one, your aren’t the only who needs to seek the positivity but whomever you speak to about the situation needs to as well. Now that you’ve shared this situation with them, their energy is contributing to the vibration. The same applies, focusing on the negative will bring more of it to you and maybe even them. If you do not have person who cannot search for the positivity in a situation it may be best to feed yourself. Meditation can be of great benefit at this moment.


Remember that the one thing that is constant is change. If you don’t accept or embrace anything else, it should at least be change because it is going to continue to happen no matter what. Accepting change and learning how to deal with is what makes life more enjoyable and makes you stronger while navigating. I hope you all remember this blog, next time something shitty happens! lol Happy Sunday!


2 views
  • Instagram Social Icon
  • Black Facebook Icon

© 2020 by Zakiya Eshe', Proudly created by Wix.com